Love · Letter 47
He has named a certain part of himself
Fictional editorial letter
Dear Duck,
My husband has named his penis Sir Reginald and announces when “the gentleman” is in the mood. I love him. I do not want a third person in our bedroom, especially one who speaks in the third person. How do I tell him?
— Lady-in-Waiting
Dear Reluctant Member of the Court,
Tell your husband outside the bedroom: “I love you, and the joke makes me less interested in sex. Please talk to me as yourself.” He may think he is being playful; give him the chance to be playful in a way you actually enjoy.
Sir Reginald may retain his title, but he must surrender the microphone. No one has ever improved a kiss by calling a roll of the nobility. I have known several dukes and can assure you they were worse at listening than the commoners.
Answered by ValentinoAffairs of the heart. Strict closing time.