Quack EnterprisesRIDUCKULOUS
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All the correspondence.

52 published letters: 36 fictional launch letters, 14 fictional editorial letters, and 2 selected reader letters. Each is labeled on its page.

Family · 48

A three-year-old Son’s Day post

Yesterday was Son’s Day. Three years ago my mom wrote a nice post about me. Yesterday she only messaged me a link to that same old post. I guess I’m an orphan now. Being reminded that she was once proud of me, with…

Lady Petronella · Reader letter, edited and published with consent

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Love · 37

The pet duck proposal

My wife says she loves pets. If I get a pet duck, do you think I’ll get more action in the bedroom?

Valentino · Reader letter, edited and published with consent

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Friends · 52

The gift came with a price tag

My friend gave me a beautiful scarf. I thanked her, wore it to lunch and sent a photograph. Since then she has mentioned its price four times. Yesterday she asked whether I had looked up the designer. I said no. She…

Lady Petronella · Fictional editorial letter

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Friends · 51

The winning cake has a witness

I entered our neighborhood baking competition with a cake from a recipe my friend gave me. I won first prize. When the organizer asked where the recipe came from, I panicked and said, “It’s a family secret.” My…

Lady Petronella · Fictional editorial letter

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Friends · 50

The book came with homework

My friend lent me a novel that “changed her life.” Every time we meet, she asks which chapter I’ve reached. I have been on page forty-two for six weeks. When I said it was slow, she looked wounded and told me the…

Dame Willowfeather · Fictional editorial letter

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Love · 47

He has named a certain part of himself

My husband has named his penis Sir Reginald and announces when “the gentleman” is in the mood. I love him. I do not want a third person in our bedroom, especially one who speaks in the third person. How do I tell him?

Valentino · Fictional editorial letter

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Love · 46

Our seduction playlist has commercials

My boyfriend made a romantic playlist, but he uses the free version of the app. Last night an ad for car insurance played right in the middle of things. Am I allowed to ask him to pay for premium?

Valentino · Fictional editorial letter

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Love · 45

My date brought his mother

I arrived for a first date and found his mother sitting beside him. He said she wanted to make sure I was “a good fit.” She asked about my five-year plan before we ordered drinks. Was I rude to leave?

Valentino · Fictional editorial letter

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Friends · 43

Lunch has become a photo shoot

My friend asks me to take “one quick picture” whenever we go out. It takes thirty attempts, and I am always cropped out of the photos. How do I say no?

Lady Petronella · Fictional editorial letter

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Life · 42

Mercury did not send that text

I sent a rude message, then blamed Mercury retrograde. My friend wants an apology. Can I explain that the timing was astrologically terrible?

Lady Petronella · Fictional editorial letter

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Family · 40

My mother has entered the comments

Every time I post a photo, my mother comments “Beautiful! Call me.” My friends now think I am missing. How do I ask her to stop without hurting her feelings?

Dame Willowfeather · Fictional editorial letter

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Friends · 38

My vacation has a project manager

My friend sent a color-coded itinerary for our beach weekend. Breakfast is at 6:15 a.m. and “spontaneous fun” has a 22-minute slot. Can I just go to the beach?

Lady Petronella · Fictional editorial letter

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Work · 21

I hate networking

I went to a networking event and spent the whole time pretending to read the program. How do people do this?

Valentino · Fictional launch letter

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