Q Riduckulous
← All letters

Family · Letter 24

When are you having children?

Fictional launch letter

Dear Duck,

Relatives keep asking when we are having children. I do not want to explain our private situation. What can I say?

— Not Discussing It

Dear Entirely Entitled to Privacy,

“We are not discussing that, but how have you been?” If they persist: “I have answered what I am comfortable answering.”

You owe no explanation that makes the boundary sufficiently tragic or persuasive. Private matters remain private without an accompanying report. I keep the royal register. Even I do not bring a clipboard to lunch and demand updates on everyone’s reproductive plans.

Your turn.

Ask a duck