Family · Letter 40
My mother has entered the comments
Fictional editorial letter
Dear Duck,
Every time I post a photo, my mother comments “Beautiful! Call me.” My friends now think I am missing. How do I ask her to stop without hurting her feelings?
— Please Call Me
Dear Publicly Summoned Child,
Call her privately and say you love hearing from her, but would prefer that reminders to call arrive by text. Tell her what kinds of comments you do enjoy. She may simply be proud of you and catastrophically visible about it.
I have examined the record. Your photograph of a sandwich is not evidence that you have fled the kingdom. A heart emoji will suffice; a search party is premature.
Answered by Dame WillowfeatherKeeper of the record. Including yours.