Love · Letter 53
The applause came home with us
Fictional editorial letter
Dear Duck,
My partner has started singing at open-mic nights. I went to his first one, cheered very loudly and told him I was proud of him. I was.
He now performs four nights a week and saves me a seat at every one. If I miss a night, he says the room feels empty without me. Last Thursday there were thirty people in it, including his mother.
At home, he plays the recordings and watches my face during the high notes. I have become nervous about blinking.
I love him. I would also love an evening during which nobody asks whether I noticed the new ending. Can I be supportive from somewhere else?
— Front Row, Every Row
Dear Permanent Front Row,
Yes. Even a standing ovation eventually sits down.
Tell him you love seeing him enjoy this, but four nights a week is more than you want to spend at open mics. Say how often you would like to come. Choose an evening together and let the others belong to him.
You can be proud of a person while remaining at home with a sandwich. The sandwich does not diminish the relationship.
When he says the room feels empty, you can hear the affection without accepting a job filling it. He may be nervous. Ask. Perhaps arriving with another performer or meeting a friend there would help. His mother appears to have found the venue.
About the recordings: ask whether he wants encouragement, a specific opinion, or simply company while he listens. Those are different evenings. If you have already heard the song three times and would like to talk about your own day, say so before the fourth chorus.
At the Velvet Lily, I pay attention for a living. I still have to go home. Constant attention soon becomes a performance by the person providing it, and yours is apparently being reviewed in close-up.
If he asks whether you liked a note and you didn't, be kind and truthful. You needn't become a vocal coach. “That one sounded strained to me” is enough. Do not award five stars to your refrigerator because it happens to be humming in his key.
Go to the next evening you choose together. Enjoy him. Clap when you mean it.
Then let him tell you about a night you weren't there. A good relationship needs some fresh material.
Answered by ValentinoAffairs of the heart. Strict closing time.